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Just another stay at home mom trying to do it all, save the world, and not run out of coffee.
My published articles: exm.nr/gkA1yp
Twitter: @CarolBruckmann

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Would whoever is praying for me to learn patience please stop

On Monday he pulled the fire alarm at school.
On Tuesday he climbed our play structure and took off all his clothes, causing our 6 year old neighbor to cover her eyes yelling, "I can't look!" Later, fully dressed, he escaped our yard while I was doing schoolwork with his sister and made a break for our neighbor's house. The dog listened and came back to the yard. At least I have one obedient child.
Yesterday, big sister (who I affectionately refer to as Jekyll and Hyde) kept slipping into full monster mode. There is no warning system for my children's moods. They are more like tornadoes than hurricanes. You sometimes see signs that one might pop up, but those F4 winds can just come out of nowhere.
To understand this next part, you have to know that I am slightly obsessive about wasting food. Okay, I'm full on crazy. So when the almonds that I had carefully soaked and dried looked like they had mold spots on them, I did what any other insane person would do. I peeled every almond. I sent a couple of cups to work with my husband, but I needed to do something with the remaining seeds.
After a quick Internet search, I decided to pulverize the almonds into almond meal in the food processor.  I may have left them too chunky in an effort to avoid turning them into almond butter. After reading too many comments on a recipe for almond flour waffles, I took one suggestion to fluff the egg whites to stiff peaks and fold them into the waffle batter. The "waffles" stuck to my wafflemaker, oozed out the sides, and had the consistency of a crepe made from meringue. After peeling/scraping 6 "waffles" from the contraption I decided to dump the rest of the "batter" into a Corningware dish and bake it in the oven.
It looked like a success. The "batter" baked up like a lovely meringue. But as I pulled it from the oven, my mitts slipped and the entire dish crashed to the floor. Finally I had reached my limit. The dog came to help clean the mess, and Elijah comforted my by saying, "It ho-k Mommy. Zeke is a good lickah!" But I could not be comforted. I turned to my golden calf.
"That's it!" I threw up my hands and shouted. "I give up! I am going downstairs to read in bed." Caitlyn followed me, copying every word and going to get The Magician's Nephew from her room. We sat on my bed and read. Elijah did not know what to do with himself. After about 10 minutes he touched my arm and comforted, "It ho-k Mommy. I can hold you recipe!" Thankfully I was reading on my iPod which can transform into a video camera.
That was enough to get me back into supermommy homeschooling mode. The rest of the morning was tough, but somehow he took a nap and big sister decided to do her schoolwork in the afternoon while he slept.
We returned home late from church, and it was after 9 when I tucked them into bed. But little brother was not interested in staying in bed. Thankfully Daddy was home soon to help me deal with the escape artist. I'll let my 2:20 am Facebook status tell the next part of the story.
Raise your hand if you're up because after putting your 3yo in bed for the 10th time at 11:50 you fell asleep only to be awakened by your husband coming to bed at 1:30 crying, "He's still awake?" and looking to see your son lying on his stomach beside you with his legs up watching the cooking channel, and then your husband discovered that your son has broken the pipe connecting the HVAC unit to the condensation pump and the storage room under the stairs is flooded, so you have to move everything out including two heavy boxes of kitty litter and mop up all the water, rigging up what will hopefully suffice to catch the water until a repariman can come at a more decent hour later today while your exhausted children fuss and as you type this status you hear that your son is still awake and talking.

Apparently he was trying to get the cat, whom he feared was escaping into the wall.

This was as good a time as any to finish typing my devotion, so I ignored him and wrapped that up.

Then at 2:34 am:
     "Mommy you drop you recipe?"
     I nodded.
     "Oh. I hold it. I really hold it."

Bud, you just don't get the problem.

I should have just tossed those moldy almonds.


  1. Oh dear, this makes me laugh, but in a "oh poor Carol Anne" way!!! Ha ha ha

  2. Your life is really like a sitcom!!!


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