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Just another stay at home mom trying to do it all, save the world, and not run out of coffee.
My published articles: exm.nr/gkA1yp
Twitter: @CarolBruckmann

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Kingdom of Camelot and the Kingdom of God

Although he was suspicious of my photography,
Jamie did in fact approve this message.  :)
One of the biggest sources of contention in the six years of my marriage has been the computer. Although last year my husband and I agreed to track our computer and television usage for a week, he neglected to write down his hours (and hours.. and hours…). His perception of time would become skewed as he entered his Kingdom of Camelot to command his knights. It reached the point that I began to resent the computer and contemplate “forgetting” to pay the bill for a month or two. No matter how I nagged, cajoled, complained, or whined I could not seem to command the same attention as Facebook games and web surfing. One look at my beloved staring at the screen could send me into a scream of “I HATE FACEBOOK GAMES!” while I searched for my Mark Zuckerberg voodoo doll.

Thankfully things have improved. Through calm conversation Jamie has come to understand that when he is at the computer when I need help or attention it makes me feel unloved and unimportant. And I have come to understand that no matter what his actions my be, mine need to be love, joy, peace, patience, kindness… well you see where I’m going with this. Not only does this make me feel better, but as I can communicate in love and frustration it will help change our marriage for the better.

As the apostle Peter wrote, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” A quick glance may lead one to believe that this verse instructs women to sit down, shut up, and take whatever their man throws at them. But whether or not Peter was speaking from the view of a patriarchal society, it definitely seems the case that my husband is more likely to be won over when I am acting in a pure and calm manner rather than seething and threatening injury to the PC. The real problem is not the computer itself, but the way we handle it, our time, and our relationships with people in “real life".

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